Yeah Hi, um this is my second year at Disney Prep and nothing has changed. If i don't like you deal with it, i don't like anybody. I have my own agenda ad none of you fit a part so please move on with your pathetic lives.
I cant help that i have a mean spirit or a bad attitude, so you need to get over it.
I’ll never forget the day my heart fell from my chest, It was the moment that I said goodbye...And I laid your body to rest
He means so much to me, yet i dont understand why. A man after my dark and crippled heart. ♥ Facilier
◢ Everyone Leaves |Very Long Fear Assignment | Open
There were very few people important in her life. It took a lot to gain that respect. It was a trait. Good or bad it was a trait. The thought of being alone wasn’t the problem. Being alone was relaxing; of course it had its poor qualities but those could be overcome. Vitani was never really alone. The ability to go find company was easy. Switch on the friendly face and have some mindless conversation would fix it. This was much deeper then that. The list was short. It consisted of 4. Simple number such as 4. Only takes four seconds to reach it when counting. If using your fingers it only sits on one hand. In most cases that was the number of people in a family. 4. Simple. 1,2,3,4. To rearrange the numbers in any pattern you could always remember then. Thats how small it really is. Aware that most people have 5+ on their important list; not even including family…it still didn’t change the fact that her list only contained four.
Each number was something different. Story was always different. Place and time in life was all different. Number one slot was filled by the only person worthy of that spot. Vitani almost cringed just thinking about it. Not for bad reasons either. Just for who holds the position. Her father. No one in her life would ever be as important as that man. Following down to number 2 the spot it was filled by the only friend she has ever had Shani. 8 years together and still the only friend to mean anything more then a familiar acquaintance. The third spot is nothing more then a sore on her conscious. But it was something that shaped her and it was nothing she could ever get rid of. Robin. The last and final spot was the freshest position and that was to Facilier. Each spot of the four was something that could never leave her. Each their own reasons. Each something that scared her.
Vitani had found herself under the big tree just yards from the dorm building. Being in public with this on her mind was not something she wanted to do. Sitting in her room and hiding wasnt going to help her either. IT was slowly killing her. Everything was killing her at this point. Looking up she reached onto her tippy toes and grabbed a hold on the lowest branch and climbed into the tree. Not high just off the ground. Out of plain eyesight. “Fine.” Was all she had to say to herself.
Never not able to think about what has happened in the past 2 and a half years; Vitani couldnt help but shake. It was subtle. But she noticed it. Whenever she was alone with her thoughts. Losing those four people would be the worst thing in her life and it was happening. Her biggest fear was right in front of her. Her father was gone. There was nothing she could do about it. Nothing would bring him back. All she had was the fading memories and the things he had taught her. And even now that was slipping away. Maybe she failed him. That was a completely different fear. Did she get herself too involved with other people. That was an endless battle.
The only thing should could grasp onto now were people. Where were they now? Shani was across the country. Was she easy to contact; no. Was she still there for her; yes. Was it distant; yes. Could Vitani blame anyone for it? No. Was she going to. Maybe. The phone works both way. Maybe that was something that happens when growing up. Strike two. Two people out of the four gone. The next was so far gone it was sickening. Vitani ruined that on her own. Chased him away with her demeanor and her actions. The only reason why it was important was because he was important. Strike 3. You would think after third try she would be able to figure it out. Some people go by accident. They leave without any warning and there is nothing you can do to stop it or change it. Some people leave because paths drift. Some people leave because you push them away. Vitani should’ve learned.
Letting all her walls down she finally thought she had everything figured out. This person appears. Everything fits. There is not forced attachment. It flowed. It was something she couldnt fix or change. Vitani let all these thoughts flow through her mind. Biting at her bottom lip she couldnt stop the tears from slowly pouring down her cheeks. Just the thought of this was hurting her. The fact that it happened. The fact that she let herself get into this position. The fact that she is letting it affect her in such a way. Probably the fact that she will probably never let this affect her. He chose to leave. Facilier was there. Kept coming back. Till he just left. No qualms with it either. Simple. Easy. Stand up and left. Vitani couldnt keep herself contained anymore.
Sitting with her legs hanging off the branch she pulled them up to her chest and let her back lean against the trunk. The tears were pouring uncontrollably now. There was no hiding that she was crying anymore. Everyone leaves. There is no sense in even forming anything. Something will make them leave. They will die. They will grow up. The will be pushed. Or then will just go. They will just go like its nothing. Vitani wasnt scared of being alone. It was being alone without them. It was the fear of it happening again. Vitani was lost, broken, and scared.